Monday, January 12, 2009

Berlin: once upon a time...

So. Here it is. I'm feeling a little... Frozen. I'm kind of here in my little semi-comfort zone, unsure of my next step. Right now I am just trying to refocus on why I am here and what I am hoping to gain from the trip.
I've always prided myself on being very level-headed and comfortable with who I am. That isn't about to change. But there are things about who I am that I am starting to question. I used to think that I am happy with my own company. Well, there is no better way to test that theory then to stike out on one's own on a different continent. Right? So here is where I am on that. I didn't realize how lonely it gets. I don't mean immediate contact with other people. I mean being able to reach out to someone at anytime. The limitations on phones and such... It's strange more that anything.
Then there is the topic of safety. There hasn't been a time that I felt as if I was in danger or that something bad was going to happen. However, the feeling of impentitrable safety is gone. There is a possibility that something could happen. Not that I think it is (don't freak out Mom). It's as someone has taken a filter off of my world. The bad can get at me. If I let it. Note to self: don't let it.
So I realize that at the moment I sound a little bit looney. Hehe. Well, who knows, maybe I am.
Soooo... I'm thinking that the next item on the adgenda is a visit to Auschwitz-Birkenau Concentration Camp in Oswiecim. Frauke's sister's boyfriend has a sister in Warsaw so I'm thinking that I'll head there for a few days and then to Oswiecim.
Anyways. Off to dinner.
Ciao.

4 comments:

Corry said...

Beautiful photos!! Looks like the weather is cold but sunny! There is some beautiful history and scenery in Russia. Just do a big circle and head east then south to Greece.

Sorry to hear the 'lonelies' have grabbed you. That is always my fear in going it alone. You can endure, you are great company for yourself, you just have to 'make' things happen by getting out there. Keep writing, it's a pleasure to read....

Hugs C

Laurie said...

I love the pictures. You are certainly seeing some wonderful architecture and statues. I also understand the loneliness factor. It is always nice to have someone with which to share your experiences. If it is any consolation at all, we are enjoying reading about your experiences through your blog. Thinking of you. Laurie

Oma and Opa said...

Finally managed to read all the parts of your blog. It's all very interesting. You are such a good writer - such a joy to read about your adventures and turning green with envy. Not about the lonely feeling though. We all miss you too, but reading about your experiences makes us feel closer to you. It's been a really busy week for me and I'll try to be more diligent.Photos are really great. Lots of love, Oma and Opa.

Jacqueline said...

Wow, what gorgeous shots!! It really is a different world isn't it?
Good that you are reassessing. Awesome that as you are there you will happen upon more contacts.
Good to be cautious, sound like a real mother now don't I.
Keep us in the loop

Love Mom